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Humor

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you forgot.

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Remember when "I'm telling!!" was the scariest sentence in the whole world?

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I survived the end of the world like a boss.

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If you met my mom you would understand

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As a parent, you often realize…. This IS my circus. Those ARE my monkeys.

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Mama said there'll be days like this.

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never grow up

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OMG My mother was right about everything

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Go jump in the lake.

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We are the people our parents warned us about.

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Some people are so poor all they have is money

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Always be yourself unless you can be Superman. Then you should always be Superm

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Even a fish wouldn't get into trouble if he kept his mouth shut.

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CAUTION free range children

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If at first you don't succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to in the

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The trouble with trouble is it all starts out as fun

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Do not ever underestimate my ability to find shit out.

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Wash your hands and say your prayers, 'cause Jesus and germs are everywhere.

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I'm not saying I am Wonder Woman I'm just saying no one has ever seen me...

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Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman then you should always be Batman.

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Always be yourself. Unless you can be your cat. Then always be your cat.

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Your crazy is showing. You might want to tuck that back in.

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Just because its a bad idea doesn't mean it won't be a good time

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Always be yourself unless you can be a mermaid. Then you should always be a merm

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The question is not whether our ideas are crazy, but whether they are crazy enou

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You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.

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If you're not barefoot, you're overdressed.

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Calories don't count outside your zipcode.

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Flowers say I'm sorry. Chanel says I've learned my lesson.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, close-knit family…in another city.

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